How To Pick Up Girls

Let's face it.  We've all heard our fair share of awful pick-up lines.  This post is to prove to you that there are in fact worse ones in existence.

So without further ado, here's a series of pickup lines that are 100% guaranteed to work.  Trust me, I'm an expert in these matters.  After all, I made most of them up.

1.  Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

2.  Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van.

3.  Did you fall from heaven?  Because your face is freaking jacked up.

4.  Stop being so sweet.  Seriously.  My diabetes is acting up.

5.  Did you fall from heaven?  Because your legs are broken.  (Don't say this to someone in a wheel-chair)

6.  Dang girl, are you a pizza at a Chinese buffet, because I'm not feeling it right now but I see you over there being you and I respect that.

7.  If you were a tree, you'd be a pretty good tree.

8.  Girl, I wanna tap that like our nation has tapped into major natural resources such as oil and coal.

9.  I want to use your skin to make a lampshade.  Because you light up my life.

10.  I'm Kurt Cobain.

Well THAT escalated quickly.

That actually didn't escalate much at all.  I've just been looking for a chance to use that gif.

You.  Are.  Welcome.

(credit for photo)