This Post Will Suck

I searched up my blog on Google images.  I'm quite pleased with the results.

Look at all these completely normal images!  

Anyways, I was just scrolling through my blog's pictures like a sexy person, when. . .

One of these is not like the others. 

Wait.

One.

Second.

I luv your blog, Audrey  ;)

This is probably the crappiest post I've ever made.  I was gonna talk about something interesting like aliens or the zombie apocalypse, but the soul of a conceited celebrity possessed me and demanded that I google myself.

To make this post slightly more educational and over-all more socially acceptable, I'm going to rant about the most stressful things the universe has imposed on the human race.

 AP tests.

I have a human geography AP test coming up really soon, and I'm already counting the days.  As of this second, there are only 4 more days, 14 hours, 39 minutes, and 11 more seconds until my brain graphically squeezes every molecule of knowledge from itself and spits it down on a paper filled with words like demographic transition, multiple nuclei model, urbanization, and agglomeration.  

Literally everything I've learned this year has lead up to this single test.  If I bomb it, every particle of hope I struggled to build up over this year will be crushed to smithereens like a fat 6-year-old kid in his 12 year old sister's leggings.

Even though like all of 1st quarter I either sat at my chair like. . .

(click on the gif if it doesn't work)

. . . I actually learned a crap ton of things from that class and I will be seriously pissed if I don't pass the test.

Long story short, I've read the AP textbook like two times, reviewed all my tests and free response questions nightly, researched problems in Afghanistan and other places on YouTube, invested in another AP textbook, done practice tests, memorized all the vocabulary, and I still feel like I'm not ready.  Basically what I'm saying is no matter how long I study, an ominous feeling of "I'm screwed" will always be in the back of my mind.

I think I should go back to studying.

(Credit)
(Credit)

Things That Annoy Me

This post is heavily inspired by this girl, so before I get arrested and thrown in a torture chamber for violating a bunch of copyright crap, visit her link.

Anyways, here are the things everyone does that annoy me to the point of no return.

1.  When teachers don't erase the board completely.

2.  When people have the literary ability of a toddler, and volunteer to read aloud in class.

3.  When I open a DVD case and a different movie is in there.

Outside

Inside

5.  When you ask someone a simple, trivial question, and they ramble on and on about everything BUT what you asked them about.

6.  When people say "What's up?"  (I never know what to say back to them.)

Me on the outside

Me on the inside

7.  When I have an itch on the bottom of my foot, but can't itch it because I have a shoe on.

8.  Couples that say, "We're pregnant."  No, sir.  You don't have a uterus.  Your wife does.

9.  People who don't clear the microwave numbers after they're done.

Credit for photos:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Marvels-Avengers-Assemble-Robert-Downey/dp/B00742SZEU
http://pcsd-lightspeed.pcschools.us/access/web?id=4223a955-d27d-11e3-8fea-002590617f30

Oh!  And on a completely unrelated note, I saw Spiderman 2 today, and it was seriously mind-blowing and amazing on so many levels.  I highly suggest you go see it and we can become best friends for ever!!

How To Pick Up Girls

Let's face it.  We've all heard our fair share of awful pick-up lines.  This post is to prove to you that there are in fact worse ones in existence.

So without further ado, here's a series of pickup lines that are 100% guaranteed to work.  Trust me, I'm an expert in these matters.  After all, I made most of them up.

1.  Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

2.  Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van.

3.  Did you fall from heaven?  Because your face is freaking jacked up.

4.  Stop being so sweet.  Seriously.  My diabetes is acting up.

5.  Did you fall from heaven?  Because your legs are broken.  (Don't say this to someone in a wheel-chair)

6.  Dang girl, are you a pizza at a Chinese buffet, because I'm not feeling it right now but I see you over there being you and I respect that.

7.  If you were a tree, you'd be a pretty good tree.

8.  Girl, I wanna tap that like our nation has tapped into major natural resources such as oil and coal.

9.  I want to use your skin to make a lampshade.  Because you light up my life.

10.  I'm Kurt Cobain.

Well THAT escalated quickly.

That actually didn't escalate much at all.  I've just been looking for a chance to use that gif.

You.  Are.  Welcome.

(credit for photo)