Tuesday, March 31, 2015

An Ode to Rap Music

Amongst all classic rock’s meaningful songs
I’m just so grateful rap’s there to remind
Me that I “ain’t got dough.” It rights my wrongs.
Because why would you dance when you could grind? 

I’m so glad Macklemore is there to say
True poetry like, “Walk into the club
like what up I gotta big cock.” Thank you.
When I’m sad, you are there to call me gay.
Why be home when I could get drunk at’a pub?
Pitbull’s words speak to me saying, “Screw you.”

When I need it most. Snoop Dog preaches to
“Not clean my room while high.” Thanks Snoop, for your 

Valuable life advice, man. I thank you.
Why’d I sing when I could twerk on the floor?
Your incomprehensible lyrics are
My inspiration for great life choices.
But the best thing about rap is when they
Remind me that I am not at the bar
When I could be. Thank you for your voices.
Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather not obey. 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

"I Love You," as Said by Different Music Genres + Comics

Read. I'll explain later.

Her booty was huge, with its own gravitational pull. 
We texted all night long. She made me LOL.
She made me start thinking like a sinner
Ever since I messaged her on Tinder.

My love for this girl was like my swagger, 
Endless like my talent as a rapper.
Her IQ; lower than my GPA,
But brains don’t matter. She my bae.

We are soul mates, so don’t mess with our flow, 
Cause I’m a rich rapper. I’ll sue you, yo.

Her face made me want to
Bury a bloody hatchet in the head of anybody who talked to her. 
Her perfume had the sweet aroma of
Shredded human flesh.
When I’m not around her

My eyes spew blood and my pancreas implodes. 
When I hear her name
My limbs become mangled and I vomit intestines. 

Her eyes are as beautiful as
A pile of disfigured human corpses.
Her voice is as soothing as the
Sound of death metal drum fills and screaming children. 

Girl, I’d sacrifice a thousand goats for you,
Because your body makes hell look cold.

My love for her is deeper than my love for
Cornfields and Republican values.
When I saw you drinking beer on your front porch,
I waved my confederate flag to get your attention.
And girl, I just really need to ask you
Do you like tractors?
Cause I want to plow your field. 

That poem was my final Quarter project for Creative Writing.

Anyways... to the point of this post.

If you don't know what a Wacom pad is, it's this really nifty attachment for your computer. A Wacom pad is basically a tablet you can sketch on, and your drawings will appear on your computer. I've been having way too much fun with it. I'm still technically an amateur at Adobe Illustrator, living off my 9th grade knowledge of Digital Illustration, but on the bright side my blog's comics are gonna receive a serious upgrade.

Side note: the reason this post even exists is because my creative writing class is publishing a book to Amazon that YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BUY because it'd make me very happy. Anyways, a book needs cover art, right? Wacom pad's got that handled.

I think these look pretty cool at the moment, but I'm probably gonna look at them like a week from now and wonder how I ever thought these looked good because that's the life cycle of art.

Also, I made more stuff. Funny stuff.

Sorry this post was so random and scrambled. And I apologize for my poem as well. That was just disgraceful.

Monday, February 16, 2015


I'm in India right now. Here are some photos I've taken so far.