HOW MY BROTHER SCARED THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF ME.

So, a while ago my little brother, Jacob, was going through some of my dad's old stuff.  He apparently  found this chucky-doll-looking-thing.

I don't know which disturbed me more; the doll itself, or the fact that my dad grew up with it, and held onto it for all these years.

If it were up to me, I would have thrown it away the first chance I got.

Anyways, because Jacob has a sinister mind, he decided not to tell anyone that he had found this doll.

I know.  Evil.

INSTEAD OF TELLING US ABOUT THE DOLL, HE FREAKING HID IT IN MULTIPLE SKETCHY PLACES AROUND THE HOUSE AND MADE ME HAVE MULTIPLE HEART-ATTACKS!!!

But before he did this, he made sure that we had seen the "Weeping Angels" episodes of Doctor Who.

It was the most evil thing he had ever done.

So anyways, I woke up before the flipping crack of dawn to catch the school bus, and as I was passing my dad's closet IN THE PITCH BLACK, I saw this demon peeking out at me from on top of a shelf!!!!!

It took me approximately two seconds to register what I had just seen, but when I did, I sprinted away, trying not to scream.

. . .

The next day, I also woke up in pitch darkness to get ready for school.  I was looking for a shoe or something, and somehow thought it would be in my dad's closet.

Bad idea.

This is what I saw. . .

(the flash was on when I took this picture.  It was a lot darker
when this happened for real. . .)

I was done.  I screamed bloody murder and ran away.

And just so you guys know, my scream is NOT attractive.  It sounds like a constipated mountain man!  So when I woke up my entire family, they all asked me if there was a 40 year old grunge singer hiding in the bathroom.

Nope.  It wasn't Kurt Cobain.

Just a chucky doll.

After these two occurances, I became completely and utterly paranoid.  I had to completely re-adjust my life to avoid this doll!  And it sucked.

I no longer wanted to walk to the bus stop by myself, in fear of Slender Man.

I no longer opened doors, in fear of what I'd find in back of them.

I no longer looked at mirrors in the dark, in fear of Bloody Mary (don't judge me).

I.  COULDN'T.  LIVE.  LIKE.  THIS.

Despite my extreme efforts to get away from this doll, I ended up running into it again!!!!

This is where I discovered it. . .

I know it's not a good photograph, but I found it behind a flipping door!!!

Enough.  Was.  Enough.

I decided to face my fear head-on.  I picked up the doll, and tried to convince myself it wasn't terrifying.

I said to myself, Two can play at this game, Jacob!!!  *followed by an evil laugh*

I officially decided to scare the living daylights out of my brother by going into his room in the middle of the night, putting the doll in the darkest part of the room (probably his closet), and wait for the fun to happen.

Just you wait, Jacob.  You're in for an interesting week.