Monday, April 28, 2014

So Apparently You Can Earn Money From Doing Art

Recently, some pregnant lady tracked down the Kimball Art Center and asked them, "I need a pretty good painter to paint a wall in my baby's future room for me.  Can you find someone?"  So the Kimball Art Center hunted me down and told me about her request.

I was about to turn them down. . . until I found out the reward was like 300 dollars!  Considering I've never even held that much cash in my life, I was like, "HECK YES!"

I went to her house and found out that she wanted a very specific Buddhist mural on her wall, consisting of a bunch of animals piling on top of each other trying to reach a fruit tree.

So without further ado, these are the steps I took in painting the room.  No, I do not recommend this process.  To anyone.

Step 1
Buy, borrow, or steal the proper supplies.

(I got mine off the black market)

Step 2
Brainstorm Stuff (aka: derp around on the interwebs)
I don't know much about Buddhist culture, so I had to look at tons of Buddhist art to finally feel like I knew what I was doing.

Step 3
Drawing Blah Blah Blehhh
Next I just drew a crap-ton of stuff that had to do with what the customer wanted.  Eventually I came up with something decent.

Finished, but extremely creepy.

Not finished, but good enough.

Step 4
Walk freaking 2 miles to the customer's house after being beaten-the-crap-out-of at track practice.

Step 5
Tell the customer you usually don't smell like this.

Step 6
Actually start the painting!  But first, draw it on the wall!

Step 7
Psych!  You drew it too small!  Redo the whole thing!

Step 8
Cover it with paint.  It never happened.

Step 9
Redraw it...the correct size.

Step 10
Actually start painting it (while remembering to take pictures of the steps).

(I kinda forgot to take pictures of a couple steps, if you haven't noticed)

Yay! Finally freaking done!

Step 11
Collect your well earned reward.

Phase one of my mission: Take Over The World, is now in progress.

Master has given Dobby money!  Dobby does not know what this so-called-money is!  They're simply green papers!  This mysterious substance can get you objects from these things called stores?  Dobby is confused!  WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS?

1 comment:

  1. Totally not a twenty with a bunch of ones behind it.