So Apparently You Can Earn Money From Doing Art

Recently, some pregnant lady tracked down the Kimball Art Center and asked them, "I need a pretty good painter to paint a wall in my baby's future room for me.  Can you find someone?"  So the Kimball Art Center hunted me down and told me about her request.

I was about to turn them down. . . until I found out the reward was like 300 dollars!  Considering I've never even held that much cash in my life, I was like, "HECK YES!"

I went to her house and found out that she wanted a very specific Buddhist mural on her wall, consisting of a bunch of animals piling on top of each other trying to reach a fruit tree.

So without further ado, these are the steps I took in painting the room.  No, I do not recommend this process.  To anyone.

Step 1
Buy, borrow, or steal the proper supplies.

(I got mine off the black market)

Step 2
Brainstorm Stuff (aka: derp around on the interwebs)
I don't know much about Buddhist culture, so I had to look at tons of Buddhist art to finally feel like I knew what I was doing.

Step 3
Drawing Blah Blah Blehhh
Next I just drew a crap-ton of stuff that had to do with what the customer wanted.  Eventually I came up with something decent.

Finished, but extremely creepy.

Not finished, but good enough.

Step 4
Walk freaking 2 miles to the customer's house after being beaten-the-crap-out-of at track practice.

Step 5
Tell the customer you usually don't smell like this.

Step 6
Actually start the painting!  But first, draw it on the wall!

Step 7
Psych!  You drew it too small!  Redo the whole thing!

Step 8
Cover it with paint.  It never happened.

Step 9
Redraw it...the correct size.

Step 10
Actually start painting it (while remembering to take pictures of the steps).

(I kinda forgot to take pictures of a couple steps, if you haven't noticed)

Yay! Finally freaking done!

Step 11
Collect your well earned reward.

Phase one of my mission: Take Over The World, is now in progress.

Master has given Dobby money!  Dobby does not know what this so-called-money is!  They're simply green papers!  This mysterious substance can get you objects from these things called stores?  Dobby is confused!  WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS?

Playing Guitar With A Certain Celebrity Again

I love it when people obsess over things because of me.

I consider myself responsible for most of my friends' obsessions with Never Shout Never, and also for a select few awesome people watching all of Sherlock in a single weekend.

But I'm especially proud of myself because recently, I taught a Sleeping With Sirens song to a celebrity.  Remember the guy from this blog post?

He recently taught Amanda and I another guitar lesson.

But this time we actually played guitar.

I was so happy.

I hereby present a 100% accurate visual description of what happened that day.

SHE CAN ACTUALLY PLAY??

I was so proud of myself.  I played/sang two songs for him and it was the most boss moment of my life.  After, he asked what band was on my shirt.

Never ask what band is on my shirt unless you are prepared to be bombarded with reasons why they are the meaning of life and why you should love them more than ice cream.

Long story short, my second guitar playing experience with a certain celebrity was ten times better than the first :D

Blogging Rivals

The unthinkable has happened.

My dad has officially started a blog.

I don't know why I encouraged him to do it. . . I didn't really think it through.

Anyways, we are currently blog rivals, mostly because he keeps giving me pointless updates on what's going on with his blog.

Apparently some famous dude tweeted out a link to my dad's blog, and he's been internet famous ever since.  I don't really comprehend how that happens, considering normal people can't understand his posts unless they understand Ruby and HTML coding language like my brother and somewhat me.

Basically his blog is a microcosm of nerdity and things normal people aren't interested in.

You're welcome for the free advertising, dad.

Playing The Guitar With a Certain Celebrity

If you didn't live in the 80's, you've probably never heard of the band "Air Supply."

Here's one of their songs:

Like most people, I had never heard of them. . . until I got a free guitar lesson (which was more like a showcase of songs) from their guitar player, Graham Russel.

When I first saw him, I was basically expecting to see this:

He's the blonde one.

I guess I didn't really grasp the whole "aging" concept.

I was really surprised when I saw an old man wearing gold rings, all black, and really tight pants  walk up to me and say, "How do you do."  To be honest, I was a little suspicious of him at first, and not just because he was british.

But he was actually a pretty decent person.

He played some songs for us, taught us the parts of the guitar, and taught us a total of ONE chord, assuming none of us were musically talented.

After telling him I could play guitar, he insisted that I show him a song I knew, so I played this song for him:

I was pretty proud of myself for not fainting in the middle of it.  My hands were shaking so badly I could hardly play at all, and I was so scared I was gonna mess up that I really got no enjoyment out of it whatsoever.

I'm pretty sure he wasn't impressed, because when I finished, he slowly took the guitar away from me and started playing again as if he hadn't heard anything.  I'm pretty sure he was mentally face-palming.

YOU DARE TAKE THE GUITAR AWAY FROM AUDREY???!!!!!!

Long story short, it was a pretty awesome experience, that I'm pretty sure will never happen again in my entire life.

Oh!  He also gave me a british guitar pick.

I feel so sophisticated.

The Worst Type Of Betrayal

Some people may be aware that I used to be a contributor on this Disney Blog, run by Matthew Burns.

*Breathes slowly to build up dramatic effect*

I will attempt to contain myself as I recall this story. . .

So there I was, checking my blogger dashboard like a sexy person. . .

When I noticed something missing from my dashboard. . .

I only had one blog.

One.

GAAAH!!!  MATTHEW MUST PERISH IN FLAMES!!!!!

I am going to kill you.

Anyways, after brutally murdering Matthew in my head for a day, I finally decided to sort the situation out.

My efforts of gaining my spot on the blog back were futile.  Apparently "Stories of FOUR Disney Freaks" didn't sound as good as "Stories of THREE Disney Freaks."

-__-

So. . . yeah.

Anyone wanna start a blog?